When I was a little girl, getting married one day was the center of my universe and my final goal. Fastforward 10 years, and I feel like I am going to throw up when I even think about marriage. It is not the fact that I would be stuck with someone my entire life; I am down with that. However, there are some other reasons that make me shudder at the reality of marriage.
First off, marriage is just weird. You are signing a piece of paper that binds you and legitimizes your relationship in the eyes of the state. You and your partner are forced to stay together because of that marriage certificate. I would rather a partner stay with me just because they want to, not because an official agreement told us to do so.
Half of all marriages end in divorce, and I do not like those odds. Most of my family’s marriages have ended in divorce: my parents, my grandparents on both sides of the family, almost all of my aunts and uncles and even my 23-year-old cousin. Obviously, my family does not have a very good track record. Maybe there is something in my blood that just cannot deal with marriage, or maybe marriage is a lot harder than it looks.
I change a lot. I feel as if my life and my way of thinking changes pretty drastically every three to four years. How am I supposed to constantly change with someone? I do not want to grow around someone, like a tree attempting to grow around concrete. I want to grow by myself and take care of myself to see who I become. It is always nice to have friends and family’s input and help, but I do not want someone to have that much control over what goes on in my life.
I really, really like having time alone. Marriage usually means you live together. Which means you sleep together, eat together and basically do nothing by yourself anymore. I would not be able to stand that! To constantly have someone beside me would drive me nuts. I like the situation that I am in now, where I live at my place and my partner lives at his place. This allows us to get away from each other if anything goes awry or if I just need some space.
So yeah, marriage is not exactly my cup of tea. I have seen many types of people enter marriages, and honestly, most of them have not succeeded. It is disappointing that the dream of perfect love that the media made me believe in when I was a little girl is not real, but I am honestly OK with that. I know that the love for myself is real, and I will always have me. Sincere congratulations to everyone in a happy marriage! You are a rarity.
Published by Odyssey Online on Mar. 14, 2016